Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Ergo, I'm not a horse...

I am a fan of 'Hinglish' or whatever they're calling it nowadays. I like talking to people who are experts in the said 'language' if you can call it that. Now for the record, Hindi is my matrubhasha and English is my language of choice, so I prefer to keep them both at their respective places and ensure that I don't mix them up like a poorly made Pinacolada. But people of the Hinglish persuasion beg to differ. They think Hindi and English go together. These are the same people who are most likely to douse their vanilla ice creams with imli ki chutney and exclaim that it is a mind blowing combo. I respect them for being so open to stuff. I like 'open' people, if I dare say so. I am not that open to desecrating the sanctity of two beautiful languages, so I really am in awe of people who are gutsy enough to do it. Sample this conversation:

Me: Hi ABC! How are you?

ABC: Bas, totally fine! You tell me, kya haal chaal hai?

Me: I'm doing good too! How's work?

ABC: What to say? Chal raha hai somehow. That promotion yaar! I want it so badly ke main kuch bhi karunga. Desperate hun yaar!

Me: I understand. You need to work harder. Try and get your work noticed.

ABC: Arrey what you're saying? I've been ghisoing myself daily das das baje tak. Now you tell me, aur kya karun main?

By this time, the Hinglish is beginning to annoy and amaze me at the same time. This mixing has got to require talent because I cannot do it no matter how hard I try. Too bad.

The coffee machine in my office dispenses a laxative that smells and tastes like coffee but is actually a very effective solution for constipation. I am currently trying to do some research and find out how it works, because it works without fail every single time. You drink a cup of it and in fifteen minutes, you'll find yourself on the pot with a magazine in your hand.
I don't know where the 'reading in the loo' habit originated. It must have been a 'Eureka' moment.

I'm very sure that I only have moments of sanity. I'm also positive that these moments don't last long and I'm thankful that they don't. I'm not very fond of sane people. And it would be a terrible thing to dislike yourself.


  1. Thank God yaar main horse nahi hoon.

  2. What yaar? Common sense na baba? You look like a horse kya? No na? Then why bekar main you're thinking so much? :P