Monday, 11 June 2012

How to be nonchalant...

No I am not trying to be a 'self help' guru or something. Ironical, since I still need to help myself a lot before I can actually start helping others. Still, I can pride myself on being able to guide people to do stuff that I can do pretty well myself. Being nonchalant is one of them. I am a pro at it. Now for the record, I wasn't always so good at it. I spent quite some time playing the paranoid maniac until it dawned on me that worrying or obsessing about anything does not help at all. It only makes matters worse. That is when I decided to kick the habit. I haven't looked back ever since and I've been clean for a whole year now. Look at me talking about this like I've kicked a drug habit or something. But believe me, it is just as worse. So now I am the queen of nonchalance. Nothing bothers me and even if it does, I get over it in a span of 15 minutes and all is well with my world again. I will now share my secrets with you so you can be just as chilled out as I am.
So here goes:

Do not get vexed about anything at all. It is easier said than done but it can actually be as easy as it sounds if you know how to do it right. Whenever a problem or worrisome situation presents itself, our first instinct is to panic about it. This triggers off the anxiousness and what follows is days of ceaseless worrying. Do you know how much time we waste doing this rather than being calm and finding a better solution to the problem? The only way to not worry is to just stop worrying. It is that simple. Tell yourself that it isn't a big deal and it has a pretty good solution to it that you will find in some time. Organise your mind to start working in the right direction. You will be surprised at how soon your problems will be resolved.

Not all problems have a solution. Understand that as well. Annoying in-laws, colleagues that plot against you, pet dogs that simply fail to obey or a difficult boss, are all very good examples of problems that don't really have a solution. The only thing you can do in such a case is detach yourself altogether. When you do this successfully, you will literally become immune to all the negative words and actions coming your way. No matter how insulting, annoying or infuriating it is, you will just stop getting bothered. The trick is to ignore it all. What cannot be changed has to be accepted and this acceptance should not be a resigned one. It has to be one where words just bounce off you and actions are simply overlooked. This sort of behaviour on your part will slowly start annoying your tormentor and that is almost as sweet as revenge can get. What more do you want?

There are also the 'mundane worries' as I call them, that present themselves to us on a daily basis. Will my maid show up today, will I miss my bus/train, will I get a pay raise this year, are all good examples of things we worry about on a daily basis. Understand that this is just like a daily fix of drugs for your paranoid mind and just like drugs or alcohol, this habit will hamper your life in the long run. The only way to stop doing this is to simply stop doing it. It is actually quite easy to practice. Think about other pleasant things when one of these mundane worries come around to plague you for the day. Just try and be positive about them. Tell yourself that your maid will come on time, you will catch that bus/train and you will definitely get that pay raise this year and even if all that doesn't happen, it will not mean the end of this world. You will deal with it and move on. Easy peasy!

Now that I've shared some wonderful tactics, you can go ahead and fight that war against your worries and emerge unscathed and victorious. Also, you will have the added advantage of being peaceful and calm and with time, you will have achieved a 'Zen' like quality which will not just bring you that much elusive inner peace and harmony, but also longevity and happiness. Your thoughts will be more organised and the clarity will be enviable. This will obviously mean progress. Not just on a personal level but professionally as well. Need I say more? 


  1. Nonchalance, yes! But Many times mere nonchalance doesn't shoo away the demons. It may sound like an insult but, essentially, you need to develop a thick skin!

  2. @umashankar: Why does that sound like an insult? It makes me feel strangely proud when someone says that I have thick skin. Nothing gets through unless you want it to. Isn't that how its supposed to be?

  3. Nice Post. Just "Switch Off" as you say.
    Keep up the "Self Styled Self Help Guru" posts for the benefit of society.
    You were "Lost"
    Now looks like you have "Found" yourself.
    May you remain "nonchalant" forever

  4. @Vikramji: I'm flattered. I'm so glad you think my posts can help people. And yes, I keep losing and finding myself all the time. Thank you for the kind words!