Saturday, 7 April 2012

Smelly cat, sm-elly cat....

I asked the office boy to give me a cup of lemon tea from the vending machine. He said, "It doesn't have lemon tea. It has problems." I think the answer was quite hilarious. I laughed really hard and quite loudly, now that I think of it. The office boy looked really scared and the rest of my colleagues just exchanged looks for 5 odd minutes. I really have to understand that not everyone gets my silly jokes and that no matter how funny something is, I should refrain from catching my sides and laughing like an insane person. In public atleast. And 'public' includes my darling husband too. The other day we were watching TV and a commercial for White Tone face powder came on. The ad is an okay one, but see it through my eyes and you'll have a laughing fit. I guffawed for 3 whole minutes and HM finally asked me what I found so amusing. I explained that the husband in the commercial is elated to see a fair wife when he comes back home from work but she'll soon wash her face and go back to looking like her old self. I was imagining how the husband would react to that. It was a pretty funny scene in my head. So I laughed. HM rolled his eyes and asked for a cup of tea. And as an afterthought added, "You should have a cup of tea too. Seriously."

The most profitable business in this world has to be the water supply business. As long as there are people, there will be demand for water. I like water. The most awful drinking water has to be the one in Ahmedabad. Funny tasting water. The best drinking water is available in my native place, Udaipur. The water is cool, fresh and sweet. It has some amazing detoxifying properties that cleanse my system completely. Or maybe the cleansing bit happens because I drink too much water and the sheer quantity flushes out the toxins. I dunno. Either ways, I want to buy water from Udaipur and supply it here. Alternatively, I could buy water from Hawaii or Mauritius or other touristy, beachy places and sell the water to some 5 star hotels here. We could have the waters of the pristine beaches of Langkawi in our neighbouring swimming pool. People would totally buy that kind of crap.

My feet smell like...umm, what is this smell exactly? I thinks its radish mixed with apples with just a hint of coconut. Isn't that how celebs describe their signature perfumes? Top notes of vanilla, chamomile and orange blossom, middle notes of some other fragrant crap and base notes of something else that smells nice. For the record, I do not own a single ladies' perfume. I can hear some women gasp. I gifted HM some Azzaro perfume for Valentine's though. I could not be bothered to buy some for myself. HM is pretty good at distinguishing a man's perfume from that of a woman's. Yours Truly can't do even that. I can hear some more gasps. I have no idea how this olfactory illiteracy happened to me. Both my parents are perfume aficionados and even my sister has good taste in fragrances. I just know what kind of smells I like. I love fruity smells. Like strawberry and melon. I like the smell of vanilla and cocoa and also bamboo shoots, freshly mown grass and leather. Even wood smells great and also petrol, kerosene and paint. Anything grilled also smells awesome and the pot pourri my Ma keeps in the bathroom also has a great smell. I could go on and on, but I really want to mention one last fragrance that I love best. It is the fragrance of wet dusty earth after the first rains. Can someone bottle it up please? I might end up buying my first bottle of perfume.

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