Shhh...

There are days in my life when I wish I was deaf. There is so much noise and criticism around, I wish I'd never heard any of it. Then again, deaf people have their sign language which they can see. But if they close their eyes, they'd be really deaf then. I do this silly thing sometimes. When someone is saying nasty things to me and it's hurting, I close my eyes. As if closing my eyes will make all the sounds go away. My sensory system is probably messed up. Anyway, deafness sounds like a very good idea right now. There is too much buzzing inside my head and not all of it is good. I'd like some peace and if becoming deaf serves the purpose, then so be it. I've decided that if I can't make all the noise go, I can atleast stop contributing to it. Which will require me to become dumb as well. I want to be a deaf and dumb person. Can't hear anything, can't say anything. Total Silence. It's a pity silence and peace are two different things. You can easily achieve silence, but peace is almost unattainable. Also, my observation and experience tells me that sometimes silence is louder than words. I have this mental image of a quiet young girl who looks a lot like me. She's sitting in a corner with her head hung low. She is completely still and silent but somewhere in the background I can hear the most painful scream ever. Yes, silence is annoyingly loud sometimes.