How to keep it together when you're both together...

Yeah, I know the title doesn't make much sense. Maybe if you stick around to reading the whole post, it will.
So as most of you know, I've been married to His Majesty or HM for almost a year and a half now. It wasn't the best time of my life and yet it was filled with some beautiful moments that I will cherish forever. There are also moments that I'd rather forget but I just can't. All in all, I learnt one very important lesson. Marriage is not easy. And a love marriage is all the more difficult. But if one tries hard enough, it works. I know that people always say that marriage is not a one way street. Both the parties have to adjust, understand and be kind to each other. Firstly, that is just nice to say and hear. Sometimes the reality will be far from it and one has to be prepared for it instead of expecting something unreal all the time. You may be feeling particularly affectionate but maybe your other half isn't. Sometimes you could be downright rude and your significant other could be unusually kind to you instead. It takes years to be on the same page and even then, one has to always know and understand that you are both very different people who have somehow managed to be in sync with each other. So how should one keep it together in the initial years when everything is new and a lot of it is annoying? There are very simple rules to this. Now firstly, I am no expert on dysfunctional couples and all I'm about to say is completely based on my experience alone. So here goes:

Patience is the most important thing. It may seem like you married the evil twin, but give him/her some time and it will all be okay.

Tolerance is essential. You will be convinced that your partner is doing everything he/she can to annoy you but that isn't the case. He/she is just showing you a side that you are unaware of. Observe and let it be.

Annoyance or anger is not going to help. It will only increase the negativity and by yelling, screaming and nagging, you will provoke your partner to do the same. Pretty soon, things will go from bad to worse and you will be wishing that you hadn't opened your mouth in the first place. Regret is not good, so just hold your tongue before you say or do something nasty.

If you are at the receiving end of your partner's anger or annoyance, simply keep quiet and let them vent it out. They will appreciate you for being calm and will also apologise later if they feel like it. Also, it will encourage them to share their negative feelings with you because you're the one who doesn't judge them when they're angry.

Do not expect your partner to apologise. I am talking to all the wives out there who wait for their husbands to say sorry and basically sulk till they get their apology. It is a cruel thing to do. It is far easier for the wife to say sorry. Atleast for me it is. But men are unintentionally egoistic and they don't believe in apologising. If your husband does say sorry quite often, it is only because he doesn't like the tantrum you throw after he has messed up. Men don't like to apologise and often do it only as a last resort. I don't like doing that to my husband and he makes up for his mistakes without saying sorry out loud. I love that. Most men are exactly like that. Don't wait for an apology and they will make it up to you in better ways. Just remember point 1. Be patient.

Do not start a fight under any circumstances. Always remember that you are going to be with this person till the day you breath your last and it pays to treat them well. You do not want to be remembered as the irritating husband/wife who made their life miserable. If you do not like something about them or you don't agree with one of their actions, find a way to tell them kindly without offending them or hurting their feelings. It may seem like a lot of work when all you can do is yell and scream at them and make them see how mad they've made you. But this is when patience and tolerance come into play. Also it is easier to be angry but more difficult to be calm. Do not take the short cut. This is a life long relationship we're talking about and you may consider wanting to invest more time in handling it well.

Always appreciate and support your partner. They may not do the same to you right away, but it is essential that you do your best to make them realise that you will always be there for them.

Understand your partner. It is essential to know their likes, dislikes and pet peeves to say the very least. Find time to talk to them and if your partner is anything like HM, you'll have quite a task at hand. HM is very quiet and he used to enjoy being left alone. He had been living on his own for more than 7 years and a fellow human in the house was enough to irk him. Most of us are like that. We are not used to sharing our space with others and we can clam up and retire into our shells at such times. If your partner does that, just draw him/her out slowly. Don't bombard them with questions and give them time to get used to you. Very soon, you'll have a talkative, lively person to live with. Patience is the key.

Give your partner his.her space. Let them do the things they like to do. You may not enjoy golfing or reading but he/she does. Let them enjoy their hobbies and pass-times. You can enjoy yours.

Never force your partner to change according to your specifications. Know that nobody is perfect and unless your partner has a serious bad habit that is going to hurt them in the future, do not make them change anything about themselves. Do not do the same for them. Let them know that you are what you are and gradually they will love you for it. The key is to stop being perfect and be more spontaneous instead.

Take time to be with each other inspite of your hectic lifestyles. You will realise that even 15 minutes spent together with love and affection will help you to keep the spark alive. It is okay if you just sit quietly and share a cup of tea. It doesn't matter as long you're in each other's company.

And last but not the least, respect his/her family even if you don't like them that much. Your partner will respect your for being mature enough and putting aside your ego to accommodate his/her family in your life. Know and understand that they are your family too and one does not 'put up' with family. One accepts them the way they are and respects them for it.

And now that I've written the most sensible post to be found on this blog, I deserve a break. I am exhausted after all the serious thinking. But jokes apart, this is exactly how I've learnt to keep it together when I'm with HM. We are like chalk and cheese but we manage pretty well. I hope this post helps other couples to manage just as well. And those of you who have been married for a longer time, do share your nuggets of wisdom. I'm sure you all have great stories to tell and wonderful advice to share.
Toodles, y'all!

The Disclaimer...finally.

I've been wanting to write a disclaimer for a very long time now. Truth is, I have no idea how to add those fancy buttons on my blog and I am way too proud of my inability to deal with technology, so I just cannot bring myself to ask someone for instructions. It will hurt my ego to learn new things on the computer. I am old school that way. I miss the old days when ideas required a notepad and pen. Now we make power point presentations (rolls eyes and shakes head) Anyhoo, I just want all my readers to know a few things about me and my blog and whatever goes on in between. It is somewhat of a disclaimer and I have no other words for it so we're going to call it a disclaimer. So here goes:

If you want stories of hope, love, belief and faith, read someone else's blog or better still, go watch a Karan Johar movie or something. I am not an automated bot but I am out of sync with most of my emotions so I don't really feel the need to talk about all that. I am all grey, I thought I told you. No specific black or white here. 

If I do write something about love, hope, belief,  faith and such other stuff, it is an indication that I am officially down in the dumps. That is when I need to be left alone to mope. You can always leave comments though. I believe a lot in the power of the written word, which is why I'm finalising a plan wherein I'm going to communicate by writing letters to people around me. More on that later...

I am scatterbrained. I have ingenious ideas that nobody seems to appreciate fully. I don't take myself seriously and I doubt if I take others seriously. In fact I just cannot be sufficiently serious about anything at all. It helps me. It obviously annoys others. Get used to it.

I write because the words get collected in my mind and I got to find a place to put it. No other reason. 

I am always pretty confused and clueless and that obviously reflects in my writing sometimes. I don't know. Don't judge me, okay. Or do, whatever.

I don't watch the news or read newspapers because I get stressed. So obviously no current events will be discussed here unless it is something big. Like 9/11 or the tsunami or Shahrukh being banned from the Wankhede stadium. You get the gist?

I think, this should suffice for now. I am a little bored of typing and I have a re-run of 'Friends' waiting to be watched. Toodles, y'all!

Sugar & spice is not that nice...

OMG! Gloria Pritchett is having a baby! How awesome is that? Hundred bucks say, she will hand over the baby to Mitchell and Cameron. And if you do not watch Modern Family as religiously as I do, the above sentence is just a bunch of gibberish for you. Don't bother, really. Just watch Modern family online if you can. Right from the pilot episode to the 3rd Season Finale that aired last Wednesday. If you don't like it, you can come back here and change my name for me. You can call me anything you want. Except that you don't really know my name so it won't make much of a difference. But point is, I am yet to meet a sane person who doesn't like watching Modern Family. I think we Indians could match up with our own uniquely dysfunctional yet lovable families. Modern 'Indian' Family anyone? I'm going to get working on a script. My own family can provide enough fodder to last for ten seasons atleast. I don't know if I should be proud or worried (shrugs and walks away)
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Sometimes so many things are wrong with your life, you know that you can do nothing to change any of it anymore. That's a great phase. Everyone should go through it. But some of us actually have perfect lives, so those of you who do, can stop reading this and go back to doing your perfect stuff and living your awesome lives. The rest of you, stay right here. The least you can do is support a fellow human being with a far from perfect life. Anyway, I was talking about the time when you actually start realising that just about everything is wrong. This moment of truth will be followed by a week or two, and in my case, a day or two of extreme stress and constant worrying. You will keep enumerating the things that have gone wrong and you will also keep trying to squirm your way out and make a run for it while you can. You see, humans are intrinsically optimistic people and right before the ship sinks, we all feel like we will somehow get the chance to get into a life boat or strap on a life jacket and save ourselves. It is quite natural. But after a week, you will have another moment of truth, wherein you will be blessed with the realisation that you are one big hot mess and you can no longer salvage the remnants of your life and build something perfect with it. This will be followed by a day, and in my case, a few hours of bawling like a baby. This is natural too. You got to grieve when you lose something and when you lose your own life at a young age, you're going to feel regret and despair and in some cases, if you don't have the ability to pull yourself together, you will actually suffer from chronic depression which is a scary thing. You don't want to go that way, believe me. So after the bawling, you will start the natural healing process. You will tell yourself that life is what it is and such other philosophical things. You will count your lemons and try really hard to squeeze some juice and conjure up some lemonade. Only, it will not be so easy. You will go through a brilliant experience and finally learn to live with the mess that is now your life, for a good 50 odd years or so. That is when you know that you probably did not do what you were ideally supposed to do with your life, but you like it anyway. And that, my friends, is when you become a perfect person (Bows to the applause)
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Donkeys are not stupid...

Cuts can be nasty. I got one recently and it bled all over the floor. It was just my index finger but man, does my body have tons of blood or what. It was crazy. In my defence, I don't enjoy watching blood flow out of myself or something. I was just waiting for HM to come home from the drug store and I was feeling too queasy to even touch the cut, let alone clean and bandage it. HM got back with a litre of Dettol, ear swabs and corn caps. I did not know what to do with him. I agree that I had a mini panic attack when I cut myself and I literally shoved HM out of the door and asked him to get me a bandage pronto. But he came back with all those things and I was dumbstruck. Anyway, I had a lot of cotton at home and I danced around as HM tried to hold me still and clean the cut with Dettol. It stung and all, obviously, so I bawled like a baby and even skipped dinner. The cut was still oozing blood so HM asked me to clamp it shut with a bit of cotton, which did the trick. But then the cotton got stuck to the wound. I managed to pry it out and that included a lot of wincing and HM just kept out of it. I then stuck one of his corn caps on it and went to bed. Now two days later, I went to the doctor to get a tetanus shot and she tells me that the cut is infected and she scolded me and all and asked me if I wanted to lose my finger. I said, Hell No! So she gave me tablets and I'm going to eat them and save my index finger. Pray for my finger okay?

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So I went street shopping to celebrate the fact that I survived a tetanus injection without even a bit of wincing or squirming. I took the shot all straight faced like I was a pro at taking intravenous drugs or something. I am proud. This is a great achievement for me people! Maybe now is a good time to get a tattoo. Anyhoo, I bought a white maxi and a satchel for less than 500 bucks! I love street shopping. Totally awesome way of saving money. KP rocks. 

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Do you know if I owe you something? If I do, just tell me and lets settle the whole thing once and for all. And don't be nice to me first and then tell me that I owe you one. I will decide whether I owe you or not. Or atleast lets decide it mutually. I don't like it when you just decide that I owe you and then you go around telling people that I owe you. I owe you nothing you brat. In fact, YOU owe Me an apology. Say you're sorry and for good measure, also say that I no longer owe you anything. That will be all. Thank you.

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I remember my friend N always went to some random restaurant and came back raving about it and when we decided to try it out, it always turned out to be a lousy experience. Poor N. We'd always blame her for the bad food, bad ambience and bad service and she would always defend herself by saying that it was all perfect when SHE came there alone so maybe we were the problem. It would have been okay if it just happened once or twice. But No. N was always wrong about every new restaurant she tried. Then came the day when our umpteenth attempt at liking a restaurant picked by N, failed miserably. I think we almost got food poisoning there. We then told N bluntly that she totally lacked the ability to tell good from bad. In case of food that is. What our friends chose to do in their personal lives was never our concern. We were always the 'You-can-screw-up-all-you-like-but-we'll-still-be-there' kind of close knit gang. But if your poor choices started affecting our digestion, it got weird as hell. We were in the phase where you tend to think from your stomach and not from your heart or mind. There were days when a particularly nasty mood could be fixed by a bowl of sundae and a bar of chocolate could turn foes into friends. And no, we weren't 10. We were around 23 years old. Anyway, point is, I miss all that now. I really want to ask N to pick a restaurant and I want to go there and for once tell her that she made the right choice. N is leaving town next month to get married to her long time boyfriend/fiancé. This one is for you N. May you always continue to pick bad restaurants. You're good at picking the right people and that's what matters.

Pardon my french....

Some sort of 'baby boom' is at work here. Every other woman is pregnant or has delivered a baby and I am getting seriously worried about the population of India. I am a very responsible citizen and such things make me anxious. I then tend to sit and ponder about it. I don't understand if I should be happy for the expectant couples or concerned about the future of India. I like to think of India as a production unit. When it was all new and swanky, it produced the best people ever. Then over the years, things slowly started deteriorating. The last satisfactory batch was probably the one when our grandparents were manufactured. Every single batch after that one was produced with the most interesting variety of defects ever. My batch apparently was the one with the most grey shades. Atleast I can speak for myself. I absolutely lack the ability to tell black from white. All I know is grey and I know every possible shade ever seen. It is brilliant. Anyway, at this rate, the forthcoming batches will probably be like the spawn of the devil. It is not a very pretty picture in my head. I want to get rid of the image so badly, I want to go dunk my head in a big barrel of water or something. Excuse me, okay?
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Some guy in China has so much 'Chi' in his system, his skin is as tough as steel. Even an electric drill doesn't go through it. I was like, Wow. This is awesome. I don't really mind electric drills and stuff but if this 'chi' can stop crap from entering my mind, it will be totally worth it. I would ask everyone to go to China and get some 'chi' from all the awesome folks out there. We all need 'crap free' minds so badly.
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Awareness is sometimes not the best thing ever. And I am not talking about social awareness or something. I am talking about being aware of yourself and your feelings and stuff like that. Sometimes it is best to not be aware of various emotions that I feel may hamper your life in more ways than one. Love, for example, is one such thing that could screw your life up so badly, the damage is almost unlikely to be undone. And even if you were one tough cookie, it could still scar you for life. Detachment from oneself is the best thing. People feel the need to detach themselves from the outer world to gain inner peace. I say, cut the bullshit. You cannot be in the world and not be a part of it. Rather, detach the part of yourself that attaches you to the outer world. No outer world stuff will ever affect you again. And when it stops affecting you, life will stop feeling like one big mess. Man, do I love preaching!
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This one is too sweet for words. 

Ba dum bum phishhhh.....

Do you ever have one of those days when all you want to do is sleep and never wake up again? I'm having such a day right now. I want nothing more than to curl up in bed with my blanket and my dogs and drift away to la la land. I did not want to wake up today and probably wouldn't have if HM had not yelled out my name loudly till I got myself out of bed. I almost sleep walked my way into the kitchen where HM had started brewing tea. I held out my arms to hug him and he handed me the strainer instead and asked me to WAKE UP NOW! He is really loud at times. So I would have totally made it back to bed but I had breakfast to make and lunch too so I got working. Then after I'd finished all the cooking, I worked out for around 45 minutes during which the maid came to do her daily chores and P the mongrel resumed her daily duty of supervising said maid. P likes to think of herself as some kind of watch dog. She enjoys watching over people. You could be asleep in your bed and when you wake up, you'll find her sitting quietly near you, just watching you sleep. Spooky and cute at the same time. So then I got ready for work because I work Saturdays while HM does not. HM drives me to work on Saturdays so he got ready too and then we reached my office and I dragged myself to my cube, from where I'm writing this post. Anyway, that is exactly what has happened until now. I have no idea how the rest of the day will go. I kinda get annoyed with uneventful days like these. Why can't everyday be new and exciting? And now that I've started sounding like a grown up version of Dora the Explorer, I gotta stop. NOW.

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So something has happened at the Wankhede stadium involving his highness SRK and some security guys and his daughter was somewhere in there too. Its not exactly 'news', more like old news. I just read about it somewhere online because I'm probably the only idiot around here who never watches news channels. I don't even bother reading the daily newspaper, so its a miracle if some news manages to reach me. This one did though and I have no idea why people have made a big deal about it. Some kids were doing what they are basically meant to do. They were kidding around and who wouldn't, tell me? I'd go bonkers if I could watch all those cricketers in person. Now I don't really understand the game of cricket and I hate it, honestly speaking. But one does get caught up in the whole excitement of watching all those players in action, especially since I see most of them in ads and all so I know quite a few. So big deal if some kids tried to get on the ground after the match. There was no reason for the security to manhandle them. They are kids, for god's sake! All they had to do was smile sweetly and ask them to go back to the stands and they totally would have. Kids are pretty obedient that way. But these security guys apparently mistreated and pushed the little kids around and in stepped our knight in shining armour. I don't think SRK did the wrong thing and I definitely don't think he's stupid enough to go pick up his girl and her friends whilst drunk. So Mr. V. Deshmukh can basically stop the baseless defamation. And now that I've discussed this unimportant event on my blog, which is basically all about unimportant things, the press should get the gist and understand that this does not qualify as 'news'. People get into brawls all the time and with all the dancing and acting that SRK does to entertain us, we should just cut him some slack and let him be a normal human being for a change. I know he's a superstar and all that jazz, but he is human afterall.

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Yeah right. Important people say something random and it becomes a 'quote' and people go around quoting them. The above quote is a great example. 

If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it....

I am not posting too frequently because I have no time to write. Actually I do have time but I'm investing it elsewhere for a change. Anyway, I felt like writing today so I came back. They don't call me Lost & Found for nothing. I keep doing the whole 'Houdini' thing to various people in my life. Activities are included too. Its like, now you see me, now you don't. I like to think that I'm magical that way. I spent all of last week catching up on work, some reading and lots of sleep. Thank you melatonin. I also watched Ishaqzaade. I wanted to stand and applaud at the end of the movie, but I had stupid teenagers surrounding me and they were giggling and chatting like a bunch of idiots instead of appreciating the movie. That annoys me. I was part of a film appreciation club in college and I get way too involved when I watch any movie. I like discussing it later but HM just gives his verdict and dismisses the movie as a Hit or a Flop. Anyway, Ishaqzaade made me miss my film appreciation club. All of us would have cried a little at the end of the film and would have definitely given it a standing ovation. The movie was brilliant. The ending should have been a little different and I'd have loved it even more if the two rebels had lived to tell the tale to their future generations. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the whole small town vibe and the fire brand youngsters portrayed by Arjun and Parineeti. And Amit Trivedi was there for the music, so that part was awesome as usual. He has rare talent that guy. He should work more. And speaking of music, we totally have to import Fuzon to India and keep them here. I want to give them their own radio channel and I want Shafqat Amanat Ali crooning on it 24/7. If I like someone slightly more than kailash Kher, it has to be this guy. Have you heard him sing Ankhon Ke Saagar? I died, went to heaven and came back within a span of those blissful few melodious minutes. I've been hearing them for a long time now and I miss my old mp3 player because I lost it and it had some rare songs from the band that I cannot find anywhere on the internet. If anyone has any of their songs or albums or anything, please just be an angel and give them to me. I shall be forever grateful.

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My area does not have a municipality swimming pool. It is just such a sad thing. My old neighbourhood i.e. the one where I lived with my parents, had not one but two municipality pools and they were both Olympic sized. You could pay ten bucks, buy a ticket and swim for an hour. What more does one want in Summer? But this dratted new area is full of swanky buildings but no municipality swimming pool. And I don't want to waste money swimming at private pools when I can do so for ten bucks at an Olympic sized pool. I cannot tell you how disappointed I am. I used to swim every noon during Summer. How do you think I managed to stay thin? If anyone from the PMC is reading this, please give me an Olympic sized pool to swim in? pretty please?

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I should print the above image and paste it all over my cube at work. If you're wondering why I work in a cube, let me tell you that my workspace is a cross between an actual cabin and a cubicle. I have a space that is large enough to qualify as a cabin, but no doors so its pretty much like an extra large cubicle. So I call it a cube. Sound so cool no? I have to have the above made it into a poster and hung in my cube instead of the current picture. Right now, I sit beneath a large framed photograph of the Chrysler Building, New York City. It is pretty awesome too, but the picture above will just make more sense when hung above my desk.

My name is Lost and Found and I'm a slacker.

I am a famous slacker. Ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you how I rock at slacking. Don't ask my Ma though. She just doesn't get the fun part of it. Anyway, the point is, I don't like wasting time. I just like doing something worthwhile with it. For example, drafting a particularly boring Deed of Conveyance at work isn't worthwhile. Making bracelets with Boondoggle is. You get the gist? This of course doesn't imply that I am a procrastinator. I get a brief, I finish the case ASAP and then I'm free as a bird. I have all the time in the world to do things that interest me. And the internet has helped so much, I cannot thank it enough. Here's a list of things I do on the internet to utilise the time reserved for slacking. Some of you are probably thinking that my boss will fire me sooner or later. I assure you, he won't. He knows I do my work on time and that's all he cares about. He is awesome that way. Anyhoo, here's the list:

1. Learn hairstyles on YouTube. I have long, waist length hair and I love styling it!

2. Learn crochet stitches on YouTube.

3. Learn workout routines on YouTube.

4. Learn craft ideas on...you guessed it! YouTube!

5. Watch all the episodes of Khan Sisters online. Keeping up with the Kardashians with an Indian twist. Thoroughly entertaining!

6. Catch up on TV shows that are not aired here. I just got done with the latest episode of HIMYM and Modern family. Also watch movies online. I finished watching Black Swan, Beastly, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The Blind Side. All of which I had already seen on TV but wanted to watch again. 

7. Download music! 

8. Play SpeedWordz on Goggle Chrome. Awesome game. You get to compete with other online players and show off your vocabulary skills.

9. Read blogs. Go through my blog list to see my favourites. I read a lot more but you need to be brilliant to make it to my blog list. And did I forget to mention that you need to be blessed with a brilliant sense of humour?

10. Read my own blog. Yes, I enjoy going through my archives. It brings back memories of the creative crap that was going through my brain at the time. (Sighs, smiles and wipes a tear) Good times, good times.

11. Other assorted things like reading articles on Wikipedia, going through people's Tumblrs and writing emails to HM. 

This list isn't officially over. I will add to it as I go along.

There are other things to do when there is no internet. Here is a list of those things:

1. Make bracelets with Boondoggle

2. Do some Knitting. Patterns courtesy YouTube

3. Do some exercise. Learnt on YouTube ofcourse.

4. Play with the dogs and tell them stories. H is a great listener and P is most likely to doze off during a narration of Rumpelstiltskin, but it is worth it.

5. Imagine things. Once you learn to do this, you will never get bored again.

6. Doodle on Office Stationery.

7. Draft some stuff. I'm a lawyer for god's sake! I enjoy drafting stuff sometimes. It is not work related obviously.

8. Last, but not the least, Read a lot of books. Current favourite : Insects are just like you and me except some of them have wings by Kuzhali Manickavel. She is a genius. Respect \m/

So this is how I utilise my time. Do tell me what you do with yours.

Title that is completely unrelated to the post...

How would you react if I called you an idiot? Would you scowl at me or would you smile? I would smile. I love the word 'Idiot'. And if you say it cutely enough, it actually sounds like something lovey dovey couples could call each other. It could replace vomit inducing endearments like 'baby', 'munchkin', 'sweetie' or 'muffin'. You could actually ask your significant other at the end of a day, "How's my idiot today?" and maybe accompany the sweet query with a little pat on the cheek. Try it. It could become a thing. And if it does, puhleez do not forget to give credit where it is due. Here.
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Don't you just hate it when people speak potentially fatal English? I know someone who can literally make your ears bleed and eventually kill you with her language skills. I cannot bear to speak with her lately and I don't blame you for judging me. I do not endorse the view that everyone should speak perfect English. We have sweeter languages in India and some words are so much better when said in the local language. For example, 'Gadhadya! Doka shen khayla gelay ka? Hey ganit kaa chukavlas?' cannot be expressed in English no matter how hard you try. For those who don't understand Marathi, let me translate the above in exact words. It means, 'Donkey! Has your head gone to eat dung? Why is all your maths wrong?'. It doesn't sound too appealing in English, does it? But in Marathi, it is an absolute delight to hear and say. I've had both experiences. For the record, Marathi isn't my mother tongue. It is my father and husband tongue, if there is such a thing. We really should have those details in school forms and stuff. I mean, with all the wonderful languages we have here, how can you know just one? Your mom could be speaking a language different than what your father does and maybe your aunt decided to marry someone who speaks a third language and you'll pick that up too!  I'm sure the English speaking countries don't have so much fun. And now, back to the topic. Aforementioned person with the terrible English actually manages to speak decent Marathi and Hindi. Both beautiful languages and commonly spoken. But she will stick to her crappy English and try to show off. I want her to perfect her Marathi first. It is her mother tongue and I speak it better than she does. What a shame. I really do hope we show off our local languages more. I love English, but I'm not English!
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I bought the book 'Confessions of a Serial Dieter' by Kalli Purie. And though I'm not grossly overweight, obese or even fat, I can understand how it feels when you try to lose those 'few' kilos that have piled up. I put on a little weight after I got married, but since I was skinny earlier, it wasn't too much of a problem until I stepped on the weighing scale and saw how much weight I had gained. Six whole kilos. I knew that if I didn't do something about it right away, I would become obese really fast since I love food. I can eat quite a lot without actually realising it. Kalli's book is witty and I can relate to it. Enough reason for me to actually emulate her. She writes about how exercise can seem hard and painful at first but how one really needs to push oneself to achieve weight loss inspite of all the pain. I am exactly at that stage right now. I have cut down on junk food and have started eating less and feeling full. But the exercising bit is a little difficult for me. I have decided to push myself really hard from now on. I really hope I can do it. Kalli talks about how even 4 suryanamaskars were difficult to do and how she managed to do 200 after consistent effort. She lost 40 kilos eventually. I just have to lose six! I am going to do this.
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Wow. I wonder how those would taste. But first I should really think if I have any enemies. It will require a lot of deliberation based on a lot of factors. Excuse me while I go mull over this one...

And if you are wondering why I've titled my post this way, go through any of my older posts. You will find that unrelated titles are a 'thing' here. I enjoy doing it. 

Et tu Brutus? Then fall Caesar...

Oh My God. Someone gave me the best-est compliment the other day. 'You're so funny'. I may forget to mention that the aforesaid statement was made with a deadpan expression. But who cares? I often turn blind when such delightful words fall on my ears. I thanked the concerned person for the wonderful compliment, as is the proper etiquette in such a situation, but that seemed to make the person's face turn a deep shade of umm...what was that colour? You know, the one when you really want to punch someone in the face and you just cannot? That exact same colour. It was a wonderful, colourful day. Really.
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My hair colour experiment which initially looked like it had worked, has actually not. HM is calling me 'Orange Aunty' and when I step out in the sun, my head looks like it has caught fire. Not cool. I am going out to buy myself a chocolate brown shade and I will rope in my maid  to do the honours once again. Wish me luck. I really do not want to look like Lady Gaga met Katy Perry and decided to get creative with my hair.
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How ironic is this exactly? You take melatonin to help you sleep and it gives you extremely vivid and freakish nightmares. No, really. Melatonin has been known to cause bizarre nightmares as a side effect. So bizarre, that you'd prefer sleepless nights than having to watch an all night horror show that will scar you and leave you disturbed for a very long time. I saw one just last night and it was the worst nightmare I've ever had. Now I don't know what's worse, sleepless nights or horrendous nightmares. Oh God, why?
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I think I might have forgotten to brush my teeth today. Do not judge me. I am not an unhygienic pig. I am just another working woman who happens to be married and has two wonderful dogs, one of which threw up before I woke up this morning and HM cannot be expected to clean up the dog puke AND take the dogs for a walk. So while he took them out, I cleaned the puke. And obviously, I had to make breakfast and get HM ready for work so I got caught up with all that and completely forgot to brush my teeth. I did bathe, so I guess atleast that part of daily hygiene was taken care of.
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