Saturday, 31 December 2011

Cleen Super Deluxe Tissues...

Today is all about New year Parties. Every goddamned hotel and club is advertising their 'New Year Bash'. I'm headed to one with HM and his friend and I must admit I'm not too excited about it. I am looking forward to all the food, because there's an unlimited buffet, but that's about it. I am not in the mood to dance or do the countdown to midnight. I don't think I'm in the mood to celebrate anything. I'm pretty much bored actually and would love to order in a large Pepperoni Pizza and gorge on it with the TV set for company and hit the sack at 11:00 pm. That, is a pretty good way to bring in the New Year according to me.

So I had something called a Devil's Chicken Shawarma today. Shawarmas are good. I'm a fan. But you have to eat THE Devil's Chicken Shawarma to know what I mean. It was a mini hell inside my mouth, burning in all its glory and now it is burning my innards as it makes its way down my system. The guy told me it would be spicy when I was placing the order. And I was like, how spicy can it get? I can totally handle it. I was so wrong. It had chillies, red peppers, chilly flakes and what not and I was halfway through it before I realised that it had chicken too. In the last few bites I discovered a few pieces of French fries that had succumbed to the heat of a million chillies. I now think that the dude at the counter did this to me on purpose. Maybe the roll is not supposed to be that spicy but he was like, Ahhh....So you're Ok with spicy stuff haan? Lets see if you can handle THIS! He even gave me a nasty grin when I was collecting my order and signed off with, "I hope you can manage to eat that". I hate him. I hope he gets stuck in a place that has nothing except Devil's chicken shawarma to eat. I hope it becomes his daily diet. Anyway, now that the dratted roll has been eaten and my stomach is trying to comprehend why I'm putting it through the worst thing that has ever happened to it, I can proudly say that I did not give up on the challenge. Me wins! I feel like that guy from Man vs Food, which, by the way is my favourite show on Tv. I am now guzzling some cold Frooti and munching on a digestive biscuit. My mouth feels good. My stomach, not so much. It is on fire. I'm just going to drink galleons of water and try to put it out.

I, is heading home now. I will see you people next year. My doggies eagerly await my arrival. Some of you will want to party all night, some will drink a lot and others will dance the night away. DO NOT do all that. You do not want to wake up with a hangover on the first day of the new year. Neither do we want sore feet or lack of sleep. I recommend everyone to crash into YOUR respective beds at 12:00 sharp. Just shout 'Happy New Year' at the top of your lungs, if you have to and then switch off the lights and drift off to la la land. See some good dreams, rest your overworked body and under utilised brain and wake up to a shining new day and brilliant new year. It might be your last. Don't give me that look! The Mayans said so! I may be morbid but they weren't any less. Ok now Bye...I'm bored.

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